February 19, 2018

From where does personal presence come?

TeamWe’ve all experienced people who have a powerful presence, whether we’ve come across them individually ourselves or just observed them as public figures. Indeed, we may well have that quality to a degree—even a considerable degree—ourselves. Perhaps we might like to strengthen it, or helps others strengthen it.

Presence is a key competent of natural leadership after all—the ability to make something useful happen without necessarily having the explicit authority that might appear to be needed. It’s also a key component of influence in relationships, both personal and professional.

The question is…

What are the key ingredients of presence?

Wisdom, attention to others, inner peacefulness, the capacity to absorb input, resilience, flexibility, needlessness, the ability to sense, the capacity to care… could be some of them. Perhaps being in touch with an inner strength and an openness to go with it is the key.

And how can these ingredients be developed?

By gathering knowledge, by accepting what “is” (i.e. what is unchangeable), by owning what we manifest and, therefore, can change, by seeing clearly, by overcoming our ego and identifying with our Self, by acting with courage and belief…

What do you think? What else is needed?

Vulnerability or openness? And why it matters

Three people, two shaking handsIf we show vulnerability, we will attract other people and they will respond to our leadership, or so it is often said.

I think it’s better to use another word: Openness.

Being open is the key.

Yes, vulnerability is a consequence of being open, but being open is a more easily adopted behavior. It’s quite different to suggest to somebody (or ourselves) that they be open, rather than they be vulnerable. The result is similar, but being open is positive and strong.

The thing is…

Being open means our relationships develop more quickly, and deepen too.

Why is that?

Well, if we are closed and defensive and so try and connect at a shallow and superficial level, we engage on territory where we are all very different, and so probably mismatched. On the other hand, if we are open, without the layers, and connect at a deeper level, we move to a place where we are much more alike and so more likely to find common ground.

Those that travel the world often say, people are much the same wherever you go. Yes, at a certain level, there are cultural differences, but at a deeper, fundamental level, human beings are driven by the same things—a desire to love and be loved, to hope, and to leave a legacy and make a difference. They also care deeply about children.

By being open, we invite people to connect at a level of common humanity and that’s a much more reliable route to success. It’s also simply quicker.