February 19, 2018

Looking for the right words? Maybe you don’t need to.

Three people around a computerWe all face these situations…

Something difficult needs to be tackled with another person. We think they’ll be sensitive about it—either because they won’t like what we have to say or because something upsetting has happened.

And so habitually we think about the right words.

That’s what we’re accustomed to doing, and good words certainly do help.

At least as important though is how we decide to be. Getting our presence right will have at least as much influence on what happens.

We perhaps don’t pay so much attention to this, but…

Consciously choosing, for example, a state of caring, or one of calm authority, whatever is appropriate, and allowing that to be reflected in our presence—our whole being—will make what we actually say much less important.

The right presence beats the right words every time. It’s so much more powerful. And because of that good enough words come anyway.


Start with who you are, not what you’re going to say.