Dr David Fraser

How do you reach the problem person?

May 17, 2013 By Dr David Fraser 1 Comment

Three people in a meeting It’s so often the way, isn’t it? Somebody you’re in touch with really sees the change you can help them make in their business.

The trouble is…

The person who most needs to change is someone else in the organisation, quite probably somebody very senior, perhaps the boss. They’re the business’s greatest strength but also it’s greatest weakness, simply because they have so much influence and everything they do is greatly amplified for good or for bad.

(OK, that’s assuming we’re already being the change we want to see and so on.

How do you help your contact successfully suggest a meeting with you to begin the process of change? How do you help them see what they need to see? How do you get started?

One way is to begin by seeking the problem person’s knowledge and input.

What works for you?

Filed Under: Change, Leadership, Organizations Tagged With: change, Dr David Fraser, greatest strength, greatest weakness

Are you in your vision?

May 15, 2013 By Dr David Fraser 1 Comment

Bridge across a gap Before we can create something in reality, we must create it in our mind. So developing a personal vision is a vital step in achieving something that didn’t exist before.

How clear and detailed does our vision need to be? Clear and detailed enough that if it showed up, we’d recognise it. Without that clarity, it won’t have the necessary guiding effect on our actions. Without that clarity, we won’t notice the relevant opportunities that come our way; we won’t see that they fit; in fact, we won’t see them at all.

That’s all very important.

But here’s the key…

We need to place ourselves in our vision. We need to see where we fit in the end result, and in turn, the journey to get there. Otherwise we won’t truly step into the dream. We won’t connect it with our life. And we won’t take the actions we need to take to make the vision a reality.

It feels safer to see a future state that doesn’t include our role in it. But then we disconnect ourselves from the journey to get there. And so we don’t take the right actions. And our vision doesn’t become a reality.

It takes courage to see yourself in your vision, taking the lead you know you can take.

But that’s what you need to do (if you want to change anything anyway).

Filed Under: Change, Personal Mastery Tagged With: courage, creating something in reality, Dr David Fraser, seeing yourself in your vision, vision

The skilful use of time

May 14, 2013 By Dr David Fraser Leave a Comment

In relating to other people, time can be an ally, if we use it right.

It’s more usual just to react to what happens in the present, transacting back and forth, hoping to make progress in the direction we want to go in, all in the here and now. We want to solve it this instant.

But as Abraham Lincoln says in the film, “Time has a way of thickening things.”

Sometimes it’s better to plant some seeds, or to train the vine a little, than go for the harvest straight off.

Or to move on from a problem, think of how things can be different tomorrow, next week, or next year. Imagine them solved now, and look back to the present. How significant (or not) do the issues seem from that distance?

As Lao Tzu wrote in the Tao Te Ching 2,500 years ago, “This too shall pass”. Nothing, but nothing, lasts forever.

How do you use time in your relationships?

Filed Under: Relationship Skills, Wisdom Tagged With: Abraham Lincoln, Dr David Fraser, Tao Te Ching, this too shall pass, time, using time

The unchanging nature of leadership

May 10, 2013 By Dr David Fraser Leave a Comment

Admiral Horatio Nelson We’re so accustomed to ever-present change and the need to lead ourselves and others through challenging times, we’re inclined to think leadership itself is a changing field. I am anyway, or I was.

Actually, of course, it’s really the one constant…

I mean leadership in the sense of contributing something to help shape the future, or more literally, “stepping ahead.”

The nature of leading is a timeless quality, resting partly on skill, partly on personal presence, and partly on inner belief and sense of purpose, and more besides—an art much more than a science, and so somewhat elusive.

Our individual knowledge of leadership, of course, changes as we learn and grow.

And yet the nature of leadership probably stays the same, and so a very worthwhile investment.

Sometimes people talk about different styles of leadership. I’m not so sure. I believe all of these styles (or most of them) are part of the range of the best leaders—the ones with the most flexibility. Ultimately leadership encompasses them all.

Filed Under: Change, Leadership, Learning, Wisdom Tagged With: challenging times, changing field, Dr David Fraser, flexibility, leadership, presence, sense of purpose, skill, styles of leadership

It’s not all about anything

May 8, 2013 By Dr David Fraser Leave a Comment

Three senior managers In our enthusiasm for an insight or an aspect of a situation that makes a critical difference, we’re inclined to think that’s the one thing that matters in the end.

Of course, it isn’t.

We say “It’s all about the…”

“It’s all about the relationships,” for example, or “It’s all about the money.”

Vital though that consideration may be, it’s highly unlikely to be the only essential factor. Chances are there are a whole lot of necessary but not sufficient conditions.

Sometimes we may choose the emphasis of the universal statement to make the point, but it helps to remember it’s only one of a number of vital ingredients for success.

It takes them all, and we need to elicit every one of them, not just the ones we see first.

Filed Under: Change, Personal Mastery, Systems Tagged With: Dr David Fraser, essential factors, it's all about the money, it's all about the relationships, necessary but not sufficient conditions

How do you take “no” for an answer?

May 6, 2013 By Dr David Fraser 1 Comment

Man thinking There something about train fares…

We seem to have a remarkable ability to get worked up about relatively modest amounts of money when it comes to train fares. If our request for a reduced fare is turned down (for legitimate reasons, of course, though we don’t see it that way at the time), we sometimes don’t handle it very well. Our ego is hurt.

Recently I saw one ticket-less guy take it really badly. He ended up storming off and jumping over the exit barriers. Except he didn’t make it at the first attempt and fell back on the wrong side. The indignity of that prompted more abuse towards the railwayman who had offended. I can’t repeat here what he said, but you can probably guess: two words, not very original. At one level, it was hilariously funny…

Ok, so we wouldn’t do that.

But how well do we accept having a request turned down; being told “no”?

Sometimes we do indeed need to push harder.

Other times we do better to accept with good grace.

How do you take “no” for an answer, when really you’d be best to? How do you keep your ego in check? How do you stay cool when you need to?

Worth working on.

Filed Under: Communication, Personal Mastery, Relationship Skills, Wisdom Tagged With: Dr David Fraser, ego, keeping your ego in check, staying cool, taking no for an answer

Constrained or radical?

May 4, 2013 By Dr David Fraser Leave a Comment

Tall buildings in London If you’re on the inside, it can be hard to stimulate change in the wider system because although you have some explicit authority, you’re constrained by your stakeholders’ expectations. We can’t really look to you to show the way on a wider front.

If you’re on the outside, it can be hard to stimulate change because although you’re not constrained, you don’t have authority.

But you do have the chance to be radical.

And those on the inside need those on the outside to be radical, because the stakeholders are influenced.

And then those on the inside can do something different because they have authority.

And then the system can change.

Filed Under: Change, Leadership, Systems Tagged With: authority, Dr David Fraser, influence, inside, outside, showing the way

Humility and influence

May 1, 2013 By Dr David Fraser Leave a Comment

Group in discussion Do those with the most humility have the most influence? Or is vocalising knowledge and expertise an essential part of gaining the attention required to make a difference?

Often it seems that those who have learned the most have the least need to speak, whilst others who are working things out need to express their ideas outwardly.

Of course, we need to remember some people like to process internally and others externally as a matter of preference, so we need to take that into account.

That allowed for, sometimes it’s the quieter ones—the ones with humility—that really have the knowledge, and in fact the greater influence. Perhaps they know enough to know how much they don’t know, and so we trust them more.

What’s your experience?

Filed Under: Leadership, Learning, Personal Mastery, Relationship Skills Tagged With: Dr David Fraser, expertise, humility, influence, knowledge

Are we talking about the same thing?

April 29, 2013 By Dr David Fraser Leave a Comment

Informal meeting The conversation seems to go round in circles. Actually, it would be more accurate to say it meanders all over the place. The participants do seem to be talking about one subject though. After all, they’re using the same words.

But they’re not talking about the same thing at all.

And so the conversation doesn’t make much sense and the result is a fog.

The reason is, of course, words mean different things to different people, and they automatically attach the meaning they know to what’s said. All these different meanings have their place, to be fair, but we need to make clear which one we have in mind.

Take “leadership”, for example—one of the most talked about themes in the world today. Unfortunately, also one of the words interpreted in many different ways, such as…

Going first
The individuals in charge of an organisation
Politicians
The exercise of authority
Management
Taking the initiative in a team
Contributing something to shape the future
Stepping ahead or across
Setting an example

That’s just a few of the possible interpretations. The problem is we may not realise how different our understanding can be.

In another example, we tend to talk about measures and targets interchangeably as if they’re the same thing. They’re not. Measures help us learn about a process, and generally are helpful. Targets, on the other hand, are much more controversial. Do they lead to the desired outcomes or do they make them less likely? Talk in a muddled way about targets and measures without distinguishing between them and we have little hope of making progress.

This all seems rather obvious, but public gathering after public gathering shows we still make the mistake.

It’s wise to assume our words have a wider range of meanings than we realise and state the one we mean (as well as our respect for the rest).

If you want a fruitful conversation; take time to make clear what you’re talking about.

Otherwise, make plans for fog.

Filed Under: Communication, Leadership, Relationship Skills Tagged With: conversation, Dr David Fraser, fog, leadership, leading, meaning, measures, range of meaning, round in circles, targets

Changing what you know

April 27, 2013 By Dr David Fraser Leave a Comment

Woman reflecting … as opposed to what you know about.

It’s one thing to know about something, quite another to know a subject and be able to deploy it in life. Unless you can do (or be) something, you don’t know it, not really. There’s a world of a difference between knowing your purpose and knowing about purpose, for example.

This comes up with books—a great change resource if used properly…

Sometimes people ask me to post a summary of a book I’ve read for them to access, as if that’ll achieve the same effect. And sometimes, I’m offered summaries by other people.

It would be handy if you could radically cut the time invested and still get the same result, and change by just as much.

You can’t…

You can know about something from a summary, but you can’t truly know it.

The best books take you on a journey of learning. You’re changed by the process of reading from cover to cover. Your unconscious mind accepts new patterns. As a result, you live what you’ve learned, and achieve the corresponding results.

Changing what you know about isn’t the same as changing what you know.

A summary most likely won’t change what you know. Skip the reading and you skip the change.

What do you know about and what do you really know? And how do you tell the difference?

(I think a clue is one’s a head thing and the other’s a whole body experience.)

Filed Under: Change, Leadership, Personal Mastery Tagged With: book summary, change for leaders, Dr David Fraser, knowing your purpose, learning, the difference between knowing and knowing about