January 19, 2018

Archives for March 2012

How do you react to others’ successes?

People clappingYou celebrate them, of course.

If you’re anything like me though, that’s sometimes after a twinge of envy—a brief moment of wishing for a similar success.

That’s not the way of personal mastery, of course. There, others’ success is an enabler, a contribution to the greater good, and no threat at all to our self-esteem.

If you’re working on a change goal, here’s a useful test of your motives and purpose…

Were the goal to be achieved without you, would you welcome that, or is it more important to be contributing to the success?

Which matters more to you, working on change, or seeing the change happen?

Worth a moment’s reflection.

How do you benefit from others’ success?

Who’s more conflicted—us or them?

Man thinkingOne day he says one thing; the next another. He just doesn’t seem to “know his own mind.” If only he would stick to what he said.

Frustrating, but are we really any different?

It’s a curious thing…

We’re well aware of our own uncertainty about our choices. We know we compromise in the face of complex circumstances, often inconsistently. We know we can be conflicted about issues in our lives, and moreover that it’s a lifelong journey to work these out.

And yet…

We somehow imagine others will be clear in their own minds; that they will be congruent in their behavior, and that they will have sorted out their inner conflicts, despite the evidence of our own experience. Then we’re surprised when it turns out they aren’t.

What changes when you allow people in your world the same scope for inconsistency you experience within yourself?

How congruent do you think we really are, day-to-day, and are others more or less conflicted than you? What do you think?

Does personal mastery mean perfect mastery?

Nelson MandelaIn a word, “no,” not in my map, anyway. It’s tempting to think personal mastery means complete command of a subject or indeed oneself. But that’s an ideal rather than a reality, even for the most accomplished.

Rather, mastery means an acceptance of responsibility to be the best we can be, to own what we manifest in our lives, and to accept, welcome even, the unending, life-long nature of the learning journey, and to discern correctly the cause we create and the effect it has. Author, Joshua Cooper Ramo said “if you are not seeing things properly, you have no hope of any sort of breakthrough.” To learn, we need to understand our impact on the world around us.

And these are inspirational traits in a leader or a partner or a parent.

That’s what I believe anyway.

What about you?